Step 3: Pivot
After months of pretty much pretending to take care of myself since my Hashimoto’s diagnosis, I had a rude awakening. My six month blood work check up came back showing ALL my numbers were worse. My body is still not absorbing Vitamin D despite taking 50,000 IU once per week. My A1C is .1 higher. My thyroid numbers were more off. My cholesterol was worse. Every. Single. Number. Was worse.
Truth is, I was half assing it. Seriously. See, I tried to compromise with myself. Eat AIP every day but one and on that day I can have eggs with tomatoes and peppers as long as I have greens and a crap ton of veggies and stuff I CAN have with a few ‘healthy’ options I couldn’t have anymore. The problem with this mindset… it’s a slippery slope. And what winds up bottoming out is your health. Big time. Plus, it made it easier to for me to give myself permission for non-healthy cheats, too. Like reasoning that it was ok to order Domino’s every week as long as I ate a huge salad with that half a Philly Cheesesteak sub and making it last two meals on the weekend. You know, to break up all the unhealthiness and make it easier for my system to process and less damaging to my system. Completely idiotic.
So here I am, 3.5 weeks into to a cold turkey pivot back on the AIP dietary protocol and I THINK I’m free of the detoxing and the 3rd week round of cravings that signals it should get easier here on out.
My doctor did two things last visit. She added a medication to help with the diabetes symptoms of Hashimoto’s. And she increased my thyroid medication to the highest dose possible. I also have to check my blood sugar daily now instead of a couple times a week.
What’s interesting to note is that just two weeks into this last pivot I was already down 16 more pounds. Bringing my total weight loss in the past year to 65 pounds. I finally weigh less than I did when I had my son over 21 years ago. And when I checked my blood sugar this morning it was 102. It’s not been abnormal lately for it to be over 200 and sometimes over 250. So something is working.
I’ve figured out some things. I can’t compromise, even with myself. The stakes are too high. And I’m worth the struggle. That’s the part that’s always eluded me, I think. I’ve never thought I was worth anything. I’m not saying this for sympathy. It’s just the truth. I was never a priority to my parents. To one I was a pawn and to the other I was a tether to a toxic relationship. And because I didn’t grow up feeling valuable and learning how to value myself, of course the next step in the evolution was bad relationship choices as an adult.
But that’s the past, right? At least I’m trying every day to make it so. Today’s a new day. I’m making different choices, taking a different path. I have one goal and I’m not straying…
I’m putting myself first, making my heath and what I need a priority. Because I AM worth it. Whatever choice doesn’t fall in line with that mindset, isn’t a smart move for me. If family and friends don’t understand, tough. I love you. And if you love me, you’ll let me take care of me. I’ve spent 44 years being on the receiving end of what everyone else wanted no matter how it effected my life.
This is MY life. Not yours. Not anymore. I’m not that same girl. I’m better. And every day I’m claiming more of the life I deserve. You can enjoy the journey with me, or watch as I claim my happiness.